The Role of Integrity in Living the Dream

Webster's New World Compact Desk Dictionary (2nd Ed.) defines integrity as "honesty, sincerity". Most people, when asked, would say they are honest. But doesn't everyone tell little white lies? I know I have told a few in my day and I'm rather embarassed to admit, I've told a few whoppers, too.

We lie to avoid hurting the feelings of those we care about. We lie when telling the truth would cause us embarrasment or inconvenience. Governments lie to their citizens in order to carry out secret agendas, and, some might argue, to maintain control of those citizens. Employers lie to employees to protect the bottom line. Politicians lie to constituents to get votes. Ministers lie to their members to preserve membership. To put it simply, many times, lying is simply easier than telling the truth. So, the question becomes, where should we draw the line?

At the Olympics last week, U.S. tennis player, James Blake lost a critical match because of a bad call and the failure of his opponent to admit that the ball had touched his rachet. Several years ago, another tennis player, Justine Henin, refused to admit that she signaled her opponent she was not prepared to receive her serve just as the opponent was serving the ball. Bill Clinton lied about his affair with Monica Lewinski. Most recently, John Edwards lied about an extramarital affair. George Bush lied about the reasons for invading Iraq. Enron executives lied about stealing from their employees. The examples are endless.

So, how does a lack of integrity effect our ability to live our dreams? Years ago, I had a business acquaintance who engaged in what I considered to be questionable practices from an ethical standpoint. I was never quite sure what she was up to or whether she was actually breaking the law. I just had a feeling she was walking a very fine line. I worked very hard and strived to conduct myself with integrity in all my business dealings. But I struggled to build my business. All the while, this acquaintance seemed to be enjoying incredible success. Well, long story short, she pled guilty to federal mortgage fraud and other charges a few years ago and is now serving time in federal prison.

I can remember wondering how it could be that this former colleague could be so successful? A very wise person said that I had no idea what was going on behind the scenes and that all of her apparent success could be coming at a very high price. Well, that wise person was my mother and she was absolutely right. My former colleague paid the price with her freedom.

But what about those little white lies? Is it better to tell your best friend that her hair looks great rather than being truthful with her by saying it looks awful? Is it better to tell your boss you were late for the 3rd time this week because your child was sick rather than admitting you hate getting up at 6:00 a.m.? Is it better to walk away with $5.00 extra change than to tell the checkout girl in the grocery store she made a mistake and give her back the extra money?

When we fail to act with integrity, do we create bad karma for ourselves? Is it inevitable that the walls will come crashing down, eventually, and that we'll pay an extremely high price for acting without integrity?

What I have come to realize is, doing the right thing is usually much more difficult than doing the wrong thing. Whether it's losing weight, stopping smoking, or admitting that the ball touched your tennis racquet, acting with integrity, doing the right thing, is much more difficult, in the short run, than acting with a lack of integrity. But the long term benefit of knowing you did the right thing is priceless.

Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, "Cowardice asks: is it safe? Consensus asks: is it popular? Character asks: is it right?" In which category do you fall?